Life, the Universe, and Everything

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Because you can't spell party without "Arrr"

October 24, 2007

So you missed my first annual pirate party... Well that is too bad. Here is a brief recap of what you missed. A scurvy lot... Of frightening bucaneers A minor mishap An experience filled with thrills and chills And the shots were heard for miles Water torture The dreaded rack Because nothing is more frightening than the fact that my friends care enough to dress up like pirates to tell me "Happy Birthday." Thanks guys!!!

The Accidental Graduate

January 12, 2007

Ok, so I admit I am a bit absent minded. During my time on this small planet, I have forgotten many things: maybe I neglected to put out the trash on Wednesday, perhaps it slipped my mind to tip my mailman this year for Christmas, but I will concede, I have never before forgotten my own graduation. Life is hectic. We give our day to day activities a sense of inflated importance. I am as guilty in this crime as any one else, however on Friday December 15, 2006 I had an epiphany. The day looked promising. The company I am currently doing contract work for was having a holiday party. Being that I was a contractor, I was exempted from this function, and so I had planned a day of lounging around in my unmentionables and watching reruns of Seinfeld. No such luck. At the last moment, I was contacted by a professor at the KU Medical Center to interview for a job I had never applied for. How could this have happened? Well, apparently he had been perusing the resumes that had been submitted for

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK!

November 18, 2005

So it is about that time... time for me to join the "real world" and time for this hippie to "get a job." Yesterday I was suddenly struck with the motivation to apply to a few positions that I found in the local paper. Well, to be truthful, I was trying to avoid studying for a test, but anyway... I managed to find two jobs which I appeared to be qualified. As such, I had just fired off an email including my resume and cover letter to the first position, and was in the middle of amending the paperwork for the second, when my cell phone rang. It was Cory. We talked for about three minutes, and when my phone indicated that I had another call, I ignored it. After I had concluded the conversation, I checked the resulting message. Apparently not five minutes after I had emailed the first job, I got a call back from the employer. What? Oh, and this is the best part- when they called (and I ignored them) they were directed to my voice mailbox, which (as many know) has held

Miss B. Haven

November 09, 2005

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." --Laurel Thatcher Ulrich I saw a bumper sticker that boasted this slogan the other day. I thought it was rather clever. Is it true I wonder? If it is, then I am destined go down in the annals of time, becasue there are few that can

An Affair to Remember

November 09, 2005

It greatly disturbs me that I have a bottle of fish sauce in my refrigerator. I have no idea how it came to be there. For that matter, I have no idea what it is used for. It has been sitting there rather unassumingly for some time now, fraternizing with the Grey Poupon in some forgotten corner of my condiments shelf. I am not in the habit of wasting food, and as such, I have not had the heart to throw it away. I think it had a love tryst with the kikkoman. I have been finding little packets of duck sauce strewn about, and I can only assume that they are the progeny of their illicit union. It prompted me to write a haiku about the whole sordid affair. Fish sauce how can you Sit there so coolly while I Ponder your being? The soy sauce was so distraught it tried to commit suicide yesterday, leaping haphazardly from its precarious perch. Or was it just trying to distance itself from the minced garlic? If my neighbor had such an offensive disposition, I might try to move too.

A Truely Touching Experience or the Title That Was More Lame than Punny

November 05, 2005

I got a professional massage yesterday. It was fucking awesome! Words cannot describe the deed. It was the first time I had ever been presented with the opportunity, and I have got to tell you, massage therapy is definitely hedonism at its zenith. I got the gift certificate as a birthday present. I had waited to cash it in for some time. Half the experience is usually the anticipation of the event. Man was I wrong, it was a wholly unexpected phenomena in itself. It met and exceeded my expectations by a factor of ten. Now a lot of people will trade massages with friend or lover, but not many like to give them as much as they like getting them. This is a tragic shortcoming of humanity. Life would be so much better, and there would be a lot less tension in the world if giving a massage was as rewarding as receiving. I was checking out the normal rates of the clinic when I initially got the certificate, and I thought them costly at the time. I since amended my sentiment, and I believe it i

Who Needs a Horse Anyway?

October 31, 2005

It has recently become very apparent that I have a habit of "placing the cart before the horse." There are certain people that tell me this may be serous shortcomeing in character, and others call me a dreamer, but is that such a very bad thing?. I am a very excitable individual. I tend to take ideas and kind of run with them. Now, it is normal for an individuals to contemplate the possible outcomes of an event. That sort of thinking is even commendable, for it demonstrates ones ability to rationalize. When an event presents itself that necessitates a decision, I try to make a logical descision. When I rationalize with myself, I formulate a number of consequences, however (and this is the zinger) I tend to fixate on the most appealing one. Unrealistic? Perhaps. It would be awefully nice if life was so idyllic. However, is it so very bad to hope for the best? Is optimism necessarily wrong? As T. E. Lawrence once said, " All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by

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